A Short Writing Sample

I’m doing lots of creative writing again and polishing the rewrite of my second novel, a psychological thriller dealing with memory flashbacks.   

The story so far: Alan is a web designer, living in London and married to Lana. But when Lana disappears, abandoning their eight-year-old son, Alan’s nightmare is just beginning. Forced to move to his sister’s country cottage, he struggles to rebuild his life. But on the eve of the move, he receives an email from someone in his past. The events that follow trigger a series of flashbacks, dragging Alan deeper into the past and danger.

Alan, now aged thirty-five, witnessed a murder and escaped with unexplained injuries when he was ten, but he has no recollection of the events.

This section is told from the viewpoint of Alan’s childhood friend:

The pigeons circled the top of the bird shed, a swarm of birds flustered and uncertain as to where they should fly, sensing possibly what was happening in the woods.  Vince ran towards him at the bottom of the hill, charging forwards by the narrow side exit leading to the sweet shop, face contorted with fury, one hand lifted to strike.

        ‘No,’ he cried, putting his own hands in front of his face.  ‘Someone’s hurt Wayne.’

        ‘You little liar,’ Vince shouted, grabbing him by the hair.  ‘I’m going to kill you for letting the pigeons out.  And when I’ve finished with you, I’ll get Alan.’